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You’re Not a Bad Person for Wanting to Date Your Friend’s Ex, But You Need to Do It Right
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Here’s Why You’re Allowed to Say Your Friend Can’t Date Your Ex
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How I Survived My Ex-Boyfriend Dating My BFF
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Five years ago, I was betrayed by a close friend. When I figured out the truth, I was devastated and heartbroken. In spite of this, I wanted to maintain our friendship and work through it. I can only guess that my ex spoke poorly of me, a habit of his. Though sometimes I doubt this list and I feel envious of the things he does provide, my resentment is chiefly with her. It keeps me up at night and ruins my days. I have nightmares of physical violence against her and revenge fantasies of spilling her secrets.
I wish misery to her and her family. I wind up hating that small child. Every time I hear her name, I get sick to my stomach. I feel certain she has swallowed up all the good in life and none is left for me. How do I move on? Steve Almond : The betrayal you suffered is real.
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My best friend didn’t tell me she was involved with my ex until it had been going on for months, which tells me that girl code means nothing to her.
It just sort of happened. In discussing this topic with my female friends, it seems to me that men are especially experienced in dealing with this dilemma. Say a friend of mine breaks up with so-and-so, and we run into her at a party. In some ways this is perfectly natural. This sort of stuff happens more than you might think. But you do need to make sure you go about this right. Anyone who has had any sort of meaningful romantic relationship can tell you that—over it or not—it would be difficult for them to be around their ex.
A buddy of mine recently mentioned that he might invite my ex to a party that we were going to and asked what I thought about that. Breakups require space. We all know the difference between a fling and something more. Why not go out with the other girls first?
It’s never OK to date your friend’s ex – and this is why
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Q: My best friend wants to date my ex boyfriend. He recently said some really hurtful things to me, and I feel like she is saying that it’s okay that he hurt me.
Perhaps one of the most important rules of friend code is you don ‘ t date your friends ‘ exes. Without this unwritten law, things can get messy. But he was a sweet class clown who could make anyone laugh—teachers included—so we stayed friends, even though our spark was gone. One Friday night I invited Michael and Bonnie to the harbor with my family and me. Every year we attend an event called the Parade of Lights, where the vessels are decorated with string lights and props that fit the year ‘ s theme.
We got there early so Michael and I decided to wander the harbor while we waited for the parade to start. The harbor was nearly pitch black, outside of the colorful twinkling lights that guided us through the docks, and I felt like I was in a scene from a romantic movie. He was telling me some story that I couldn ‘ t pay attention to because his beautiful blue eyes were catching the light in a magical Disney prince sort of way.
I giggled when he paused for effect, but I think that must have been the wrong response because he looked back at me with a confused face, one eyebrow raised higher than the other. We found a private spot at the end of a dock and decided to anchor ourselves there for a while. We sat on the wooden boards that swayed slightly with the ocean ‘ s current.